"Gayness, Multicultural Education, and Community"
by: Dennis Carlson
I hope some of you take the time to read this blog. I have many personal experiences that I am going to share with you no matter how embaressessing they may be. I hope to help you understand things better and allow you to see threw the eyes of a lesbian.
1. "Public schools in particular have often promoted such "normalizing" conceptualizations of community that are based on defining a cultural center or "norm" and positioning class, gender, and sexual Others at the margins." (pg.233-234)
-I basically related to this quote by telling you about my personal experience in explaining quote two. I didnt know I was gay until I was introduced to homosexuality when i meet lesbians, the summer after graduating highschool. This is when I realized that I didnt have to like boys. It was okay that guys didnt give me butterflies. Make my heart beat faster than a race car in NASCAR. Make me feel like i had a stomach full of knots. It was OK to be sexually attracted to girls on a whole deeper, sexual, sensational level. School never taught me any of this and I wish it did. I wish i knew about homosexuality ealier on. I feel like this lead me to live my highschool years of what society wanted me to be, in a way. I would just crush on guys but I never wanted to date them. I got grossed out at the thought of it. But i never told my friends that because I was afraid that they would laugh at me or call me wierd. And i didnt have many friends as it was prior to college because I was different. I wasnt girly, into getting my nails done and shopping. Talking about boys. Thats what they liked but not me. Hair in a pony tail. Playing sports. That was me. So, I pretended in a way to be like them. Thats what i thought was normal. I was teased all through middle school for being me. So, I wanted highschool to be a better experience. So i thought pretending to be like "them" would allow me to have friends. But even then, I didnt understand why i wasnt like everybody else. why i liked different things, and why i wasnt sexually attracted to males.
2. " "Being gay" thus involves some level of identification with a "gay community," "gay culture," and also some understanding of oneself as different from "straight" women or men." (pg.245)
-I choice this quote because I can relate to it. Those of you who cant, may be confused by this quote. So let me help you understand threw my own personal experience. In public middle school, and my private highschool, I was never taught about homosexuality. I never dated. I had crushes on boys because I thought "I was suppossed to." I would think "hes cute. so i guess this means i have a crush on him" and then id run and tell all of my friends. It wasnt until summer of '06 that i found myself. It was my over night orientation at Elms College. I was going to be playing softball there. That summer, the coach told me to go spend the night. My over night host was a gay softball player. This is the first time, I got butterflies. Heart raced. Palms sweated. I now understood what I "real crush" was. But, she was a girl. Was this okay? Basically all my life I was sheltered and now i was dealing with something I knew nothing about. I didnt realize that I was "gay" until i realized that there was a such thing as homosexuality. That I didnt have to like guys. That being straight wasnt the only option. It was normal to feel what I felt around girls. My freshmen year, I made tons of friends who were all gay. I could finally relate to other people. I learned soo much. Things that I wish I knew in highschool. You cant move back in time, but you can move foward. This is when i came out to family and friends. Had my first girlfriend. We ended up dating all the way up to my junior year in college. But, it didnt work out. But thats okay, because I learned so much about myself... All of this allowed me to understand who i truely am and love myself for it. Ive dated a few more girls in the past year but im currently single. It sucks transferring back home your senior year of college. When your legal of age to go to the bars around campus that I couldnt go to in the past. All my gay friends live in MA since thats where my college was located. I dont have many friends back home. Im hoping to make some gay friends in RI. Its nice to have friends that you can relate too. That understand you because they have been through the same thing.
3. "...he argued that homosexual teachers represented a danger to their students since "nothing seems more certain than that homosexuality is contagious." (pg.237)
-nothing seems more certain. Oh come on Willard Willer. Is this really how people thought in 1832. Wow, it shows just how far we have come. Homosexuals and heterosexuals still do not have the same rights (homosexuals cant marry in Rhode Island :x) but homosexuals have come a long way. Willer was convinced here that homosexuality is a contagious thing. Like it was a choice. Like somebody can just become gay. What does he think it is a virus/sickness? Geez, some people. As johnson said, "People cant help but fair the unfamiliar" Obviously, Willer isnt a fan of homosexuality. Rather than staying close minded in his own convinced preconsumptions, maybe he should of gotten to know some homosexuals. Get to know and understand their struggle. Look within. Dont just assume things by taking a glance.
4. "The objective of classroom discourse is thus not so much to achieve consensus on one "true" or "objective" depiction of reality, but rather to cloaify differences and agreements, work toward coalition-building across difference when possible, and build relationships based on caring and equality." (pg. 252)
-I love this quote! I hope all of you will teach like this in the future! I know i will. You shouldnt teach what "your personal depiction of reality is" because thats just your opinion. You should have a judgement free classroom. Let your students be themselves. Get to know eachother. Make them feel accepted. Not to be afraid of the differences. Embrace them. Have students grow off of eachother. Wow, if more classes were like this.. America would be headed in the correct direction. Equality is key. We were all create by God. Theres a reason we have differences. Let each of your students feel proud of who they are. This will not only let them feel good about themselves, but I bet they will excel in the classroom learning wise as well. Its all about the classroom environment!
Im sorry that this blog is so long. I hope it doesnt make you all not read it. So, if your still reading thank you for your time and hearing my thoughts. It means alot. I hope I allowed to you better understand things through the mind of a lesbian. Personally my teachers never talked about or even mentioned homosexuality. As teachers, if you ever see a student being teased, dont ignore it. Think of things you can do to make your students feel proud of who they are. Have a diverse classroom. I learned alot about myself late in life because much of reality was hidden from me so I would follow the norm of society. It wasnt until I moved out of state onto a highly numbered diverse campus.
Let your students be themselves. Help them to find themselves. Do what they like. Make them smile. Feeling proud is what i think is key here. If students are comfortable being themseleves. Knowing its okay to be different (girls dressings sporty). Thats what i was teased for in middle school. I wish teachers embraced difference and encouraged equality more. This is why i cant wait to teach. I think I can be a great role model and help many students to love themseleves no matter how different they are!
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If the students from your high school where as brutal as the students from mine (which is sounds like they were) I am not surprised that it was so hard for you. I can't say that I totally understand where your coming from because, honestly, I don't. I know it will sound awful to say but I always did fit in, in high school. However, your story still hit me pretty deep because my older sister had an endless amount of problems with girls while she was in high school. Whenever my mom would force her to go to school, she would start to cry and hyperventilate as soon as we got to the street that the school was on. She was picked on to the point where she dropped out of high school. She said that she just wanted to be an adult. My parents almost got a divorce over the whole situation because they were fighting so hard for her to stay in school. What it came down to though, was that she was better off NOT doing what society tells you to do. Her dropping out had absolutely nothing to do with how intelligent she is....put it this way...she is 22 and is in a book club because she loves to read so much. The point is, kids are harsh; adults are generally more accepting of peoples differences because "we know better". This is why I agree that these issues need to be talked about in school. No matter why or how people are different, it needs to be taught that people need to be accepted for who they are. I am really glad that you were willing to tell your story. I agree you when you were saying how nice it is to have friends that you can relate too. On the other hand though...Isn't it also nice to have friends that are different from you because you can learn from one another. I think no matter how or why people are different.. we can grow as individuals to understand or even just be aware of what it is like to be someone else.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting your own experiences with this. It really helps those of us who don't know what it's like to understand it even better from someone who knows; someone who's gone through it. I'm not going to lie, when I started reading his article you popped into my head because I was looking forward to seeing how you were going to respond to his article.
ReplyDeleteThe part where you talked about having crushes on boys because you felt that you had to, reminded me of one of my best friends Christina. She knew she was gay since middle school. I was the first person she told, and this was back when she, "thought something was up." We both went to a Catholic middle school, and we didn't know anyone outside of school who was gay,so she thought there was something wrong with her. Also, the fact that she's a devout Christian didn't help. For a time, she actually didn't like the fact that she didn't like boys. She thought God would punish her. We were young, so I didn't know what to think either, but I kept telling her that nothing was wrong with her and that I doubted she was the only one who felt that way. Luckily, we opened up to one of our friends who happened to have a sister who was gay. The sister then talked to Christina and told her it was fine and there was nothing to be ashamed of, and to not lose hope when people said mean things, because some would. She told her just to turn the other cheek. Since that conversation, she proudly told our friends and her family, and I can happily say that she is now engaged. So I am happy that you ultimately did find your footing, and think you will make a great role model of a teacher :)
Tara, I enjoyed reading your blog and I'm glad you shared your own experience. I thought being gay or lesbian was much more accepted now and I assumed people would be more supportive today. I graduated from high school 15 years ago and back then no one "came out". I wrote in my blog how I didn't know anyone who was openly gay in high school. I hope it gets easier for future generations. I am glad you were able to find yourself and I think you will be a great role model as well.
ReplyDeletegreat blog ... interesting to see how the culture at school really did not allow you to be who you truly were
ReplyDeleteI think it is awesome that you are willing to share your experiences with everyone. Johnson, Delpit, even Carlson would be proud of you. I think your blog will open the eyes of everyone who reads it. It made it so much easier for me to understand Carlson's article and to understand the importance of teaching children about homosexuality.
ReplyDeleteTara i really enjoyed reading your blog, of course i didnt like how oyu were treated but i admire you for telling your story and sharing how it is for someone who is "different" and how they feel that they have to fit in! i think it is great that you wan to be a teacher, i think you will make a wonderful teacher and if i had children i would be honored for you to teach them! : )
ReplyDeleteTara, it's admirable for you to share your personal experiences. Continue to be the person you are!
ReplyDeleteWow, what a powerful post. What you talked about in this post opened my eyes to what this article was all about. I think this post will give so many people a better idea of what it means to be gay, and that it is not something you just 'choose', who would choose to be treated so horribly if they didn't have to be? You are such a strong person for sharing your story and will make an amazing teacher!
ReplyDeleteI always like reading your blog. You always have really great insights, and I like how you always seem to have real life experiences that coincide with what we are reading.
ReplyDeleteI cant begin to tell you how proud I am that there are women like you who are in this with me- This was totally refreshing- Keep up the subtle genius... it suits you
ReplyDeleteChris